Eleanor.

Sometimes I wish that on the day of your birth you were handed a road map to the rest of your life. There were no decisions left to be made, no struggling to figure out who you were or what you wanted to be, everything was already done. Sometimes I think, how much easier would life be if I didn't have to decide a single thing?

Right now I am struggling. I hate to admit it, but I am lost. Somehow I lost my map, or maybe someone took it, or maybe I never had it. Either way I have found myself wandering around not knowing where I am going. I always envisioned a life that was easy; jobs would find me, friends would always be close, I would find my person and settle down and that would be it. And so far...those things just aren't happening. And all I can do is wonder why.

I am blessed. I can't complain because my life has not been terrible. Yes, there have been ups and downs, but who doesn't go through that? There have been times when I thought I was on top of the world, and there have been times where it felt like the world was on top of me. And there have been times, like now, when I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

There is a silver lining to this whole mess though. I may not know where I am going, or how I am going to get there, but I do know who I am. I know that I am capable. I am strong. I am smart. I am a fighter, a go-getter, and I know that it gets better. One day I will figure out what I want, and then I will probably have to figure it all out again later on. That day may not come tomorrow, or next week, but it will come. And while I wait I am going to take the advice of a woman that I admire very much, and I am going to remember that it always gets better. Sometimes it just takes time.